Fancy-um

arminbutts:

"how’d you learn to read so fast?"
"anime subtitles"

thegestianpoet:

someone take me out. either in the date way or the assassination way

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

colincakes:

i dont chase after men but if he has tattoos and muscles a bitch just might power walk

vagisodium:

have you ever looked a horse in their eyes?? there is absolutely nothing going on in there. no remorse or regret. horses dont have souls and cant be held morally accountable for their earthly sins and this is why i fucking hate horses

toastdurr:

fairyspork:

floptart:

ass2007:

im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:

image

Who the fuck measures dick size in bread

anustartpop:

shavingryansprivates:

i foudn the angriest looking fish in the world

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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK?!

t h e m e